Taxes are our friends

Hello April 15! Tax Day. Ooohhh, that icky feeling just crept back in my stomach just thinking about how Uncle Sam is shaking his head at me right now...

My day started out fairly calm until noon when I quickly tried to log in to my TurboTax account online in the hopes of filing a last minute extension. Before I really get into this (for those who filed back in January- I admit my life seems a bit backward. I freak about deadlines at work, but procrastinate with the government. Something's not right with my head, I already know this, thanks).

Back to TurboTax.com. I failed to remember my username, password, email account assigned to the site and then couldn't, for the life of me, remember the name of my first pet, car, favorite color, where I was born and all other security questions. My childhood must have NEVER happened. So, my account locked up. Fail #1.

Then, I Googled "tax extension." H+R Block popped up. I signed up for a 7pm appointment at a temporary taxing office 5 blocks from my house. Amazed at the convenience of online appointment-setting on a day like today. Email Kyle with the time/location...etc.

Kyle picks me up after work (that's another story in itself- the whole "car" situation). Go get dinner at Panera, otherwise we'll be 45 minutes early to H+R Block and I'm starving. Forget to pick up tax paperwork at home before heading to our appointment (fail #2).

Sit in nice little temporary H+R Block office and wait.... Twitter. Text. Play "Pocket God" iPhone app game, stare in amazement at the 90-yr-old receptionist who looks like she's going to keel over at any moment. Tax advisor greets us with glee- no, not really. But he's nice. Sits us down and by the end of our conversation he tells me that 1) I no longer exist in the IRS eyes because after getting married my label is now "Spouse," 2) Kyle has until 2011 to file his delinquent 2007 tax return and 3) We can still make it to the post office downtown and postmark our extension!

Kyle and I rush home, spend a good hour trying to figure out how much we would like to "estimate" owing the government (call H+R Block to confirm we didn't listen the first time on how to fill out the form- (fail #3)). Finish the file, grab a stamp and run out the door. Thinking we can wing-it by hitting up the Fed-Ex near our home didn't cut it (they can't postmark your envelopes at 9:30pm at night) (fail #4).

Alas, we hurry downtown and throw it in the mail. YIPPEE - we make the deadline. We cross our fingers the whole way home hoping the box of receipts stacked to the ceiling in our bedroom will make up for anything we DO owe the government. (We're convinced this is the future fail #5).

Then, realized I could have actually filed immediately at H+R Block if I had skipped a growling stomach steering me to Panera and swung by the house to pick up our paperwork. (Major fail #6).

I need to stop talking about taxes, now, or I'll be sick.

This photo depicts how I feel after recapturing the essence of tax-time. Yes, this is a photo I actually took and will explain later.